The Best Defense

I spent much of my life

1. Trying to justify my actions
2. Defending my position
3. Being hurt or offended when I'm misunderstood
4. Trying to right wrongs or fix things that I thought were unfair
5. Being generally rather frustrated when things didn't go my way

Since I asked Jesus to help me with all this and the rest of my rather dysfunctional existence I've learned a few things.

1. The best defense is a great offense

Yeah, I know this cliché line sounds rather simplistic so I will try to explain.

The kids and I have been reading through the four books in the Bible that depict Jesus as he lived here on earth. I started out because I wanted to teach the kids about Jesus, but I am sure that I have learned just as much or more than they have. As we read through these books, we discovered an amazing person. I learned so much that has helped me, but I think one of the greatest things that I am trying to practically apply to my life is how he dealt with injustice.

Here's the picture:

Sinless (yes, sinless) man lives a life above any reproach. At around 30 years old, he begins to teach, heal and perform various other miracles. He develops a great following and people throng to hear his message of hope. As his ministry goes on, his following grows. Local religious leaders fear loss of power, money and prestige because so many are listening to this message of grace and mercy that is in direct opposition to their oppressive and burdensome requirements and regulations. They decide to do something about it.

At first they tried to discredit him which further substantiates his sinless life – if he had done ANYTHING, they would have found it. As they made their empty accusations, each time they tried to put him on the defense, he came back with a great offense and reversed the situation. Each time he was accused, he would answer with logical questions putting his accusers in the position of defending themselves. He never defended himself because there was no reason to. He had done nothing wrong.

When they finally ran out of empty accusations and illogical arguments they began to attack him for saying that he was the Son of God. To this he consistently gave no answer at all or a simple 'it is as you say'. He did not defend himself, he did not get upset, he did not argue or plead his case or point to all of their mistakes and all of his proof. He did not cry out for justice. As he was arrested for the only crime they could come up with – blasphemy for saying he was the Son of God – one of his disciples tried to defend him with a sword cutting off one of the guards ears. Jesus told him to stop and healed the man's ear.

Jesus went to the cross without argument. He went willingly. He came back to life three days later and the legacy of what God has done lives on. It has a force and power beyond anything on this earth.

I wish I could live a life like that. As I seek God and learn more and more about him, my life begins to change and look a little more like what it should and could be. When I remember to react in these ways instead of being defensive, angry or hurt I have much better results in all of my relationships. Even when there is no resolution, there is peace.

The first time this message really hit home with me was as I watched my husband go through what I thought was a terrible injustice. In spite of his innocence, I watched him calmly go through being treated horribly, and severely disciplined for nothing more than good intentions. He acknowledged his own errors and accepted all of the guilt and condemnation that was hurled at him with grace and dignity. As I went through this with him, in the beginning I fought it every step of the way. I tried to fix it, fight it and argue it. Everything in me screamed INJUSTICE.

As time went on… years in fact… I learned to pray more and trust God. I still had my moments when I got angry because the very system that was set up to protect the poor and the innocent has become far less than it was intended and there were times when I wanted to fight it with every thing I had, but Joe would always calm me down and remind me that everything would be okay. In the end, everything turned out fine and Joe was vindicated. I'm sure it came out much better than it would have if we had done it my way.

My life will never be perfect, and there are times when I forget all about how it should/could be, but my desire and growing ability to live a good and right life comes not from any law or rules but because of the love I have received from my God.

Rom 2:4 ...God's kindness leads you toward repentance…

1Pe 2:12 Live such good lives among them that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

A Safe Place

Sometimes the place we should feel safest can seem to be the most hostile. Sometimes the people who should love us judge and condemn us. Sometimes they do it without knowing anything about us. Sometimes anxieties, weaknesses and fears are projected onto us in various ways… anger, hostility, exclusion. Sometimes life just plain sucks because of these misunderstandings. Sometimes I am the object of these issues and sometimes I am the cause.

I know a place where I am always safe, always loved and never misunderstood. In Jesus I find acceptance and grace and I am known to the deepest core of my being. My motives and actions are known and not presupposed. With him, I can see my own motivation more clearly. I learn how to better handle it when I am the object of a misunderstanding, and I learn more and more how NOT to be the cause of the misunderstanding. I learn that being defensive is unproductive and that continuing to love is the only answer. I learn that if I can't overcome these stumbling blocks I may miss out on something much greater.

I love this place… I think I'll stay here… right where God wants me.

Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.

Baaaaaaaaaaa

Jesus told a parable about relationships. The parable gives an example of how sheep only trust the one they know. Although the parable was used to explain to his disciples about false teachers/preachers, I learned something from it in another very important way.

Quality relationships are not possible without trust. Just like sheep, trust is something that is built when we get to know, care about, help and protect each other. In the parable, Jesus is the shepherd and doesn't need taken care of… only you and I (the sheep) do. That's true with a shepherd/sheep and with God and us, but in human to human relationships, it's a two way street. It must go both ways, or it will never be very good.

In the parable, Jesus says '… they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him…' How do we get to know someone well enough to trust? We start out by sharing our joys, sorrows, hopes, fears, victories, failures, strengths and weaknesses. As we build trust and become able to share even more, we naturally become more and more intimate with each other. Becoming intimate puts us in a vulnerable position, but also brings us closer. We can't expect our relationships to grow meaningfully in any other way.

When one of the people in a relationship is unable to become intimate in this way because of insecurity or fear, the relationship suffers. It is an exchange, and when one person is unable to participate, communication is superficial at best. Sometimes it takes a lot of patience and love. It may be slow, and sometimes even painful for the other person to learn that you are not the enemy. If trust extended is abused or broken, the relationship can be badly injured.

If we want to have good relationships, it starts with getting to know each other and it will continue to grow with strong, unbroken trust. Like Jesus, who came that we may have life, and have it to the full, we must want the best for the other person.

John 10:1 "I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. 2 The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. 3 The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5 But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice." 6 Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them. 7 Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8 All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. ....