There was a terrible accident on Friday afternoon involving a school bus with four disabled children on board, all of whom were killed. The bus driver was the only one to survive and is in serious condition. One of the students was my daughter's 'peer buddy' at school last year. Peer buddies is a program that students can volunteer for to assist the kids in the special needs classroom. Tyler was ten years old, confined to a wheel chair and could not speak. Cheyenne spent part of every Tuesday last year helping him and the other kids in the class in all kinds of activities that allow the children to do and experience various things that they wouldn't be able to do on their own… from tasting and smelling things to going for a ride on the Carousel at Riverside Park.
Joe and I have been talking and praying about the tragedy… praying for all those involved: parents, family, the bus driver, other drivers involved (who were not injured), the teachers, friends and even the rescue workers and anyone who was at the accident scene. One of our biggest concerns as parents is if we should allow Cheyenne to attend the funeral or not. At first, our protective parental instincts told us 'no, she does not need to go through that'. Joe and I both hate funerals and only go if we can be of support to someone there. We felt that Cheyenne didn't need to 'be there' for anyone and that being there wouldn't do her any good at all. That was consensus last night, but we agreed to keep praying and asked God to help us make the right decisions before we went to sleep.
There are two of Cheyenne's good friends, among others, who also volunteer in the class. One of the moms thoughtfully coordinated all of the parents to donate and send a memorial for Tyler. When she called again this morning, we also discussed whether or not we should allow the girls to go to the funeral. She had the same protective mindset that we did. She mentioned there was a viewing before the funeral and I said I might take Cheyenne to it, but I wasn't sure. I asked her to call me later in the day.
I called my pastor's wife to ask her to pray and see if she or her husband had any advice. As we discussed all the thoughts and feelings we were having, she suggested leaving the decision up to Cheyenne. Since we haven't even talked about it (I was kind of avoiding it, thinking if I didn't say anything maybe she wouldn't ask), I hadn't even considered the fact that she might want to go. I'm sure that when she gets home tonight she will have an opinion and that opinion may be influenced by the group of kids that are also volunteers. I'm also fairly sure that as a group, they will want to go.
Joe called again at noon and when I asked him how he was feeling about it, he had basically come to the same conclusion. I called the other mom and told her what we were thinking and she was also having the same ideas. It's amazing how God will bring minds together. We are now prepared to counsel Cheyenne, but to leave the final decision up to her. She's only 10, but I know she will have to learn how to handle things like this in her life. The other mom had been in contact with the school today. I knew they had provided grief counselors and she found out that all the girls had been to see them a couple of times. She was going to pick up her daughter after school. I thought maybe I should do the same, but then decided to leave Cheyenne to finish the day unless she calls me to come and get her. She's doing pretty well because the first thing I did was remind her of the hope that we have… not a weak uncertain hope, but a solid, definite, knowledge of the true hope that Tyler is safe with Jesus and he is no longer confined to his broken little body. He is truly and totally free.
I can only pray that the parents of all four of these children have this knowledge of hope. Without it, I don't know how you could cope. I don't understand why things like this happen. I am a firm believer in the sovereignty of God and I know that although he did not cause the accident, he could have stopped it. Why he didn't will remain a mystery along with many other things. I do know that God is good, not just in our human way of thinking, but good through and through. There is no bad in him. Some people react to tragedy by pushing God away and blaming him while others draw nearer to him through their grief. Lord, draw all of these nearer to you.
Later, I was online reading an unrelated blog and happened upon this song. It's not a great recording because it was made on a cassette tape player just days before the artist, Rich Mullins, died in a car accident. It's an honest song about the struggle to love and trust this God who loves us so much and whose ways we cannot understand. It was exactly what I needed to hear today.
Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. 9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
Luke 18:16 But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
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