My grandparent were farmers. They lived way out in the country on a gravel road. The county used to come and oil the road every now and then to keep the dust down. They had a huge barn, a silo and another hog barn down the road with a pond next to it. For a long time they were dairy farmers, but eventually changed to growing corn, beans and pigs. Some of my best memories of my childhood are of the time I got to spend with them on that farm.
When I was very young, probably around four years old, I remember being out on the swing set one day. My little sister (almost two years younger) was with me. We were both on swings facing opposite directions. I was facing the fields and she was facing the house. We were having a grand old time, swinging away, when all of a sudden, I SAW THEM. The hogs were loose. These were not your cute little pink piggies of story book fame. These pigs were big and mean. Some of them had huge teeth that looked like tusks. They were all different colors: black, gray with black spots or reddish brown. They were very ugly and very frightening.
I had seen my Grandpa working with these hogs... trying to get them to do what he needed them to when he had to load them or doctor them or whatever else you do to pigs. It was usually a very violent process. He would yell and wave his arms and poke them or beat on them with a stick. Sometimes he would climb up on the fence and put his feet on their backs or backsides to shove them along. He called them by name... Tom, Dick and Harry are a few I remember. He did not use these names affectionately like ‘Here Tom... here piggy piggy piggy’... no, not like that at all. I don’t think those were given names, but just what he called any random pig at any given time as he ‘hollered’ at them. I also remember hearing that Grandpa had been hurt by them. I was afraid of them and when I saw them coming toward my sister and me, I froze.
I didn’t say a word to her. She was swinging away, oblivious to the danger that was headed toward us. I am ashamed to say... I left her there. I can’t remember why... I don’t even recall any of the thoughts going through my head. Maybe I was afraid that if I said anything they would come charging at me. Maybe some mean part of me wanted to leave her there. Maybe I was stupid and thought it was funny. Who knows? But I do remember that I quietly left the swing set and went into the house.
I think I told my grandmother that the hogs were out and I’m really thankful that she went outside and got my sister, and the hogs didn’t eat her, but none of it is really clear. The only part I remember very clearly is quietly sneaking away and leaving my sister behind. I hope when she reads this story she’ll be able to forgive me. I realize now, how much danger I left my little sister in. Maybe that’s why I remember it so well. My own fear or selfishness or stupidity or youth rendered me incapable of protecting someone I care about very much
What would I do today? I hope I would react differently than I did as a toddler. I’d like to think that in any given situation, I would be able to put another’s welfare ahead of my own... but we can never really be sure until something like that happens to us. Usually, I am not put to much of a test in this area. So far, I haven’t had to rescue anyone from a really dangerous situation... no running into a burning building to save someone... no stepping in front of a bullet... and I’ve yet to have a loved one who needed me to donate a vital body part. Whew! What would I do if it came to any of these things... or something even more serious? What if it required my life? What if it was going to be horrific... humiliating... excruciatingly painful? And what if I knew all this beforehand? Would I be able to walk that road? These are questions that can’t really be answered by speculation... only living through them could give us the true answers.
I know someone who can say ‘Yes’... he would do it... because he already did. For you... for me. Thank you Jesus.
Isaiah 53:5
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.
No comments:
Post a Comment