Middle Child

I spent my life in proximity
Seeing things
I couldn't conceive
Ever happened to me

Younger sibling
Much adored
Time and attention
Boundless love

Older sibling
Depended on
Needed, heeded
Helpful and more

From my view
It seems to be
That no one needs
Or cares about me

Kind words and gentle touch
The very thing I need so much
I resist, refuse, I can't believe
That they truly care for me

Insecurity, resentment
Anger grows
I push away the offerings
Of the things I desperately need

Those pushed away
Don't realize, can't understand
And in their eyes, only see
A need for more discipline

What I really need is unconditional love
Help to understand that I have had
The very things I can't believe
Were ever in the plan for me

Seesaw

Up
Down
Up
Down

The thrill in my stomach as I leave the ground
The drop in my heart as I plummet down

Up
Down
Up
Down

The excitement and adventure of a new love found
The pain and the grief when it ends where it was bound

Up
Down
Up
Down

Get off this ride and leave the park
Or keep on riding until it's dark?

Up
Down
Up
Down

Are the highs truly worth it? All this pain...
In the end, in reality, what have I gained?

Mirror Mirror

Look around
Don’t look in
Don’t want to see
My own sin

Compared to others
I can always find
Someone worse
Set up in my mind

Look around
Don’t look at me
In that mirror
I might see

The truth
Exposed
When all along
I supposed

I’m okay
Because you’re not
A false impression
Is all I’ve got

A prayer for stone cold hearts

The longer and further we walk
Away from God
And all that is pure and good and right
The colder our heart becomes

But it’s never too late
To turn around and walk
Or even run
The other direction

To be welcomed
With arms wide open
Into the loving warmth
That patiently waits

Love that chisels away
At a heart of stone
Carving it into
What it was meant to be

It is my prayer
For stone cold hearts
Projecting pain
Onto those who try to love them

To turn and walk
No… run
Into those waiting arms
Of love

The Monster

The monster is hiding
Waiting to come out
He wants to eat
I will not feed him
Perhaps I will be able
To starve him out

When I least expect it
There he is
Someone is feeding the monster
He is getting stronger
I can take this food from him
Keep him from gaining power

It’s there
Right in front of him
And me
I should throw it away
Down the drain
Never to be fed upon

But sometimes
I leave it there
Just in case
I get hungry too
Bad food
Toxic, poisonous

Get rid of it
And him

He’s been with me for so long
Once I thought he was gone
And then
Vigilance waned
Does he come back
stronger than before?

No
Only his absence
Makes it seem that way
I will keep better watch
This time
My gatekeeper will help

Together
We can defeat him
He shall not come out
And live in comfort
No
He shall not be comfortable at all

The Masquerade

Evil masquerades
Behind a pretty face
Cold snake coiled
Waiting to strike
Watches intended victim
With evil intent
Vulnerability induced
Deceived, seduced

Victim falls
Bite not lethal
Intense unremitting pain
Wounded lives another day
Hope tucked away
Determined to move on
Confront reality
Dismiss uncertainty

Reject temptation
To retaliate
What motivation
Does it bring joy?
So many questions
Answers elude
Thoughts roam
Motive unknown

Let go
Press on
Resolve to trust again
Join the masquerade
Concealed for a while
In anticipation of
Forgiveness healing
Love prevailing

Loving…

Loving and being loved by my children makes me want to…

teach them to have fun and be who they are
share in their triumph, fear, joy and heartache
firmly but gently discipline when they make mistakes
see them grow up into men and women
know all about them

So I will… be a better mom

Loving and being loved by my husband makes me want to…

take part in his hobbies and interests
share his thoughts and dreams
forgive him whenever he does something wrong
encourage him in all he does
know everything about him

So I will… be a better wife

Loving and being loved by my God makes me want to…

learn every thing I can about him
be honest with him about my hopes and fears
talk to him when I make mistakes
trust him and be more like him
know him more every day of my life

So I will… be a better person

All that remains

Love…
Expectant
Dreamy, impractical
Naïve, inexperienced, untested
Always wishing for more

…Disappears

Love…
Committed
Durable, resilient
Honest, trustworthy, enduring
Ready and willing to sacrifice

…Persists

Love…
Romantic
Flirtatious, exciting
Generous, hopeful, refined
Given for the other

…Emerges

Love…
True
Solid, reliable
Lasting, genuine, stable
Faithful through it all

…Remains

Take the Cake

Chocolate cake
Sweet, creamy
Moist, delicious
Can you tell?
Not until
You take
A bite

It might be
Dry, grainy
Soggy
Or worse
How will you
Ever know
Until you
Take
A bite

Jesus Christ
Awesome, wonderful
Love personified
Do you know?
Not until
You meet him
For yourself

He might be
Rude, condemning
Boring
Or worse
How will you
Ever know
Until you
Invite
Him in

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. - Psalm 34:8

Expression

Laughing face
Lovely smile
Mask the pain
All the while
Vacant eyes
Can't tell lies

She left
He played
They laughed
Betrayed

Different friends
Another man
Change of place
Change of plan
Start the cycle
Over again

She tempted
He lied
They're indifferent
You cried

Getting harder
To keep your face
From giving away
The wretchedness
Inside

Broken pieces
Withered dreams
Angry resentment
Why me?

Lashing out
Thrashing in
Cutting pieces of my skin
Can't hurt you
I'll hurt me

Deep need
Love cries
No answer
Heart dies
What is peace?
Why lies?

Love hurts
So deny
Stifle hunger
Live a lie
I'm okay
Without

Can't take
Another day
Maybe try
A different way

Another friend
Some of old
A new guy
or girl
Guarded heart
Look at me
Work of art

Holding back
In reserve
Give little
They don't deserve
Any more

Empty
Incomplete
Unreal
Dead end street

Is there
Real love
To be found?
Looked up
Down
All around

Seek him
And you will find
A love that will
Never
Be unkind

Love real
Love true
Faithful
Unconditional
Never ending

Ultimate
Expression

A Life
Given
For you

For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. - Matthew 7:8

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

One True Love

I wrote this for my daughters and their friends a while ago. They all got rings that say 'true love waits. ' I thought I'd share it with you.

One True Love

Do you want to wait for your one true love,
the special one chosen by God above?
Or would you rather mess around and play with fire -
flirting with lust, temptation and desire?

Will you give your heart to each guy that comes along,
telling you they love you and it can't be wrong?
If this is what you choose, you will have little more
than a torn and broken heart for the one you long for

Would you like to save yourself for the perfect man?
It won't be easy, but with God's help you can
It starts with Him, no one else is able
to give you the willpower… to keep you stable

Remember He is with you wherever you go
Talk to Him daily and you will know
how much He loves you, how much He cares
how much He is interested in all your affairs

He only has the very best for you in mind
He's the greatest Love you will ever find
He knit you together in your mother's womb
when it comes to your love life, you must presume
that only He can choose the greatest man for you
beyond your wildest dreams, you haven't got a clue!

Seek Him and know Him and someday he may bring
the perfect husband to make your heart sing
But before he gives one who fits you like a glove
He'd like for you to know about His perfect love
It's waiting there for you, just reach out and take it
If you know His love, no one else can fake it

Take Him in your heart, in Him you can confide
He wants to support you and be your guide
He'll help you avoid being led off course,
falling for lies, peer pressure and worse

If you've already fallen and made a big mistake
You need Him even more, for your broken heart's sake
He wants to forgive you and heal your wounds
He's waiting to help you and wants it to be soon

Jesus loves you so much, you are special to Him
Not a shallow love like a fling or a whim
A love so deep that He would die for you
And that's what He did because all along He knew
That in this broken world full of trouble and strife
One day you would need Him and want Him in your life

"I have loved you with an everlasting love…" Jeremiah 31:3